REPOST: Fake Smile

Originally blogged in July 31, 2009.  Karl always tells me I should talk to people more, but whenever I try to say hi to people who I've met before, somehow I always end up talking to people who don't remember me anymore.  Am I really that forgettable?!  They always give me this fake, yeah I know you look but really I don't, awkward silence moment.

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For most of you guys (my contacts... Hehe...), you already know that I'm really not a people person. I'm a creature of habit. I don't like small talk and I will not go out of my way to talk to people I don't know. AND I will not go out of my way to say hi to people I barely(sort of/ talk to) know (but I know) when I see them. My face is not a smiley face and generally I look like I'm mad at the world.

Take for example last week, I was in a store (Haha, anonymous, malay mo, kamultiply ko siya!). I saw a college friend who was my groupmate in this and that class. I saw her, but she didn't see me, so I let it as is. I didn't want to talk about this and that for 5 minutes and say, "Bye, let's keep in touch!" but really we don't. I just let her do her shopping while I maneuvered myself out of the store without managing an eye contact.  She still looked the same, I probably didn't (Clue: I'm a mother now!).

Sometimes, when push comes to shove, I have to do the most nakakainis thing!  One of the few things I dread is seeing high school batchmates, high school batchmates that I barely talk to, but obviously I know.  Maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago, Karl and I had our typical date night and what do you know? 3 batchmates!  I did not want to go in the 30 sqm space because obviously it's impossible to pretend that I wouldn't see them.  It would've been hard for me to blend in. Besides, unlike the clothing store, I had nothing to hide myself in (e.g. Racks of clothes, etc). Karl and I had a debate for like 5 minutes in the car until he made me realize why should I stop myself from eating the food I want for the 5 second moment I'm going to have with these people.

So fine, as I trudged inside the restaurant, cursing myself for not using my Balenciaga that day (Yes, I am shallow.) and not wearing better clothes I went in and pretended I didn't see them.  I ordered my food, ate as slow as I can for the dreaded upcoming moment.  When we were done, Karl was already bugging me to acknowledge them because the restaurant was filling in and they needed seats to sit in.

I held my breath, looked and them, and like it was choreographed, they waved and smiled at me all at the same time.  I waved back and flashed my fake smile. 1..2..3..4..5.. Finished. Ran out of the restaurant.

Karl was laughing his head off when we got inside the car. I wanted to strangle him, kill him for deciding where we were going to eat. I've always tried to avoid ICA-Xavier hangouts because I just don't like seeing a majority of those people.  Now I've declared that area banned for life!  Should I crave for it, I'm getting take out!

Are you wondering if I've flashed you my fake smile? You'd know. Karl knows when it's fake. My friends have noticed when it's fake. Are you my friend? If you know me better, you'd know! :)